2 responses so far ↓

• ivan hild // Sep 23, 2004 at 8:12 pm

  Dear sir;

  Dear sir;

  I would argue that most cruise ship experiences, when all is said and done, are not worth the time or money involved. By this I am not singling out any particular cruise line. Nor am I claiming that each and every cruise line offers only a bad experience. What I am saying is that virtually all middle class cruises (which, after all, make up the vast bulk of cruise activity) are not what they are cracked up to be, particularly as they are depicted in cruise line brochures. The ships may be newish and mammoth-sized (in some cases, almost three times the size of the ill-fated Titanic), but the huge number of passengers carried by these ships (often in excess of 2,000) are normally shoe-horned into claustrophobicly small cabins, are given only the most mundane of food (the word gourmet should be stricken from these cruise brochure lexicons), and are entertained by stage performers whose talents recall the memory of Major Bowes Original Amateur Hour. Let’s start, however, with the ship’s cabin. In the middle class range, cabins usually run between 140 and 175 square ft. To visualize that size, imagine the garage space taken up by a full-sized car and two or three bicycles. That’s it. And that even includes a tiny bathroom and one tiny closet. In such cramped quarters, the beds are necessarily small and, for some unaccountable reason, often have only the thinnest and least comfortable of mattresses. Because all newer cruise ships are completely air-conditioned, steel walls seal out the fresh air as well as cut off most views of the water. And the public rooms of such ships are usually so gaudily decorated that they bring to mind the lobby of a Las Vegas gambling hotel.

  The most popular itinerary for a middle class cruise is the Caribbean. On some cruises, as many as five Caribbean islands are visited in a seven-day sailing. (In truth, a seven-day sailing usually turns out to be a six-day sailing. But why quibble?) Passengers learn that most Caribbean islands are virtually identical: two or three seedy towns separated by a small mountain range over which, for an outrageous price, a taxi will transport the traveler. Most island people who service the cruise ship trade are virulently anti-white and provide only the most mediocre service for which they expect a healthy tip. And the island shops selling jewelry, cameras, and clothing invariably charge sky-high prices. Caveat Emptor.

  Much is made of the low fares currently being offered by cruise lines, the result of a momentary confluence of soft demand and expanded supply of cruise ship cabin space. Indeed, it is possible today to purchase a ticket on a middle class cruise ship for $900 or less. But to that must be added another $300 for a round trip air ticket from the traveler’s home to the ship’s port of embarkation. Yet another $300 goes for touring those five Caribbean islands. $150 more pays for shipboard purchases not covered by the cruise ship ticket itself. And perhaps $100 more covers that end-of-cruise ritual known as Tipping the Staff. All told, then, such a seven-day cruise costs $1,750 per person or $3,500 per couple. On a per-day basis, that works out to $500 for a couple. For a comparison, see what that same $500 per couple per day will buy at a first-class land-side resort, especially if one thinks in terms of discounted prices, not rack rates. And remember too that rooms at most upscale land-side resorts are easily five times the size of a cruise ship’s cabin. The food is infinitely better. The air which one breathes is real instead of being mechanically-processed and possibly even recycled. The swimming pools are Olympic-sized instead of matchbox-sized. The service staff is professionally-trained. And there’s even a chance that the hotel’s décor has been carried out in good taste.

  The above criticism, of course, applies foremost to a typical Caribbean cruise. If one contemplates a European cruise, things become even more problematic. Take, for example, a summertime cruise to the Scandinavia port cities of Stockholm, Gothenburg, Copenhagen, Oslo, or Helsinki. A ship’s itinerary will usually budget a few hours for each port even though several days are required to explore these cities. What is more, the territory between these cities is almost as worthwhile to see as the cities themselves, making the best way to see Scandinavia, not by cruise ship, but by train or rental car. When it comes to making the necessary water transit, each of these port cities are served by huge, modern auto ferry boats. Cheaper by perhaps 40 percent than any cruise ship, auto ferry boats provide all the necessary conveniences to make even an overnight trip thoroughly comfortable: individual cabins, restaurants, and even gambling casinos. Sailings are typically scheduled every few days. And since this is the way Europeans themselves travel, a side benefit is the opportunity to meet the locals on their own terms. In sum, by refusing the romantic blandishments of cruise ship advertising, the traveler gets the proverbial more for less.

  Indeed, the most objectionable aspect of the cruise ship industry is its fraudulent advertising. Annually, the industry spends hundreds of millions of dollars to create a false impression that a cruise ship provides a higher plateau of living. As the foregoing suggests, quite the opposite is the case. Equally deceitful is the cooperation provided by newspaper and magazine travel writers who are motivated by the lure of cruise ship advertising revenue. Travel agents specializing in the sale of cruise ship tickets add to the deception. For first-time passengers, therefore, all this means that the anticipation of the cruise ship experience is filled with visions of contented couples sunning themselves before almost-vacant shipboard swimming pools, sumptuous dinners-by-candlelight with European waiters attentively hovering nearby, and romantic strolls through ports-of-call that evoke the memory of Bogart, Bacall, Bergman, and good old Claude Rains. No wonder most first-time cruisers return home with regret in their heart.

  Ivan Hild

  September 19, 2004

• TRP // Oct 31, 2004 at 9:15 am

  Based on our experience, we do not recommend Royal Caribbean as a family vacation. We just completed a cruise from Saturday, July 31 to Saturday, August 7 on the Navigator of the Seas.

  The first three nights we suffered distress due to loud and profane neighbors. We heard: Saturday night: repeated cursing about a storm at sea; Sunday night: cursing and an argument followed by obscene noises; Monday night: obscene noises, louder and more vulgar than the previous night.

  Normally we do not complain, but deciding the activity would not cease and concerned about the impression on our daughter, who had fortunately slept through most of the noise, we asked Guest Relations early Tuesday morning for a different room. Their response was inadequate and misleading. They said no rooms were available, not even a downgrade. We again requested a different room that afternoon and were told the ship was completely booked, and any room change was impossible.

  A frequent cruiser intervened Tuesday evening on our behalf. With this help, a room suddenly became available. We are distressed that as average cruisers no help was available. Guest Relations had not been honest and was indifferent to our child’s welfare. My wife was actually in tears when we initially requested a new room. Without the intervention of a higher-status, frequent cruiser, we would have remained in an environment potentially emotionally unhealthy to our daughter.

  I urge all parents to think twice before considering a cruise with your children on Royal Caribbean.

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